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Hearing about divorce is uneasy but imagine going through it or watching a friend go through a divorce. It is a touchy subject, and these days divorce is more common in society, especially in America.41% of first marriages lead to divorce, 60% of second marriages end up in divorce, and 73% of third marriages end up in divorce. It’s hard to be in a family that becomes divorced. The children suffer as much as the adults in the relationship do. It is hard to see your friend depressed all the time blaming themselves for matters that are not their fault. How do you help a friend go through a divorce?

Effects before the divorce

During a divorce teens are probably most affected, mentally and physically. Studies show that teens may be affected as early as a year before the divorce actually happens. They can experience more academic, psychological, and Behavioral problems than teens who’s parents are married. Kids who’s parents are divorced scored much lower on math and reading tests than kids who’s parents are still married. Also children of divorced parents did not report having a great relationship with their parents before the divorce.

Effects during/after the divorce

Many teens who’s parents go through divorce experience many behavioral problems. Boys are more likely to have more behavioral problems than girls. Also boys drop out rates are higher than girls but girls affected by divorce can become sexually active at an early age. Divorce can also cause social problems because many teens become more responsible after the divorce either because they are trying to parent their younger siblings or they’re simply trying to be good children so they don’t cause their parents more problems. As a result of becoming more responsible they tend to hang out less with friends and family. Social problems can also occur from depression which may develop before, during, or after the divorce. Depression is also caused by anger and frustration that teens may feel towards their parents about the divorce.

Future Effects

The experiences of divorce can often be traumatic and affect a person’s relationships. For example someone who has experienced a divorce may not want a serious relationship. Also they experience higher levels of mistrust and are more prone to breakups. Their future marriages may also be affected. They themselves are more likely to get a divorce. But divorces can also have positive affects when it comes to future marriages such as becoming more committed to their marriages.

There are several things a child or teen can do to make sure they themselves don't succumb to the negative aspects of divorce. First of all, and most importantly, they should know how and where to get help if they feel upset. There are several sources that they can approach. Parents and teachers are a great source to get help. However, if one feels too shy, there are sites (such as eriekids.com and divorceonline.com) which provide great advice. Help is also available in the form of psychology therapy – many have found that family therapy aids the painful process. Negative feelings often snowball into problems which get out-of-hand, such as depression or drug abuse, so it is important to keep them under control. Second, it is important to keep in touch with both parents if possible. This prevents loneliness, feelings of loss, or sadness. Some teens, however, cannot physically see the other parent. In these cases, e-mails and phone calls are just as good for staying in touch with important events and issues. Third, it is important to give parents their space while they go through the divorce process. However irritable they may seem, they are going through a very stressful and emotional experience. Teens should know that their parents will take control of their lives once again, and the process is mostly temporary. In conclusion, the child or teen left in a divorce should know how to adapt to the situation, control their feelings, and get help if needed; suffering in silence is often a dangerous mistake.

When a teenager’s parents go through a divorce, the support of their friends and family is vital to their well being. The teen’s parents are having problems of their own, and they are often to upset to help their children. The most important thing a friend or family member of a teen in such a situation can do is listen. Some simple empathic listening can do some one wonders. Friends and family can also help by keeping promises, not taking sides in the fight, and learn how to respond to the person’s fears and problems. Last, it is extremely necessary to try and help keep the person’s life and schedule as normal as possible. Tell and help them to do their usual extracurricular activities such as sports and usual plans they make with their friends. By doing these things, one can help a person get through their parents divorce in a smooth and gentle manner.

You never want to see your friend down, and if they are experiencing a divorce these steps could help them greatly. Part of being a good friend is being there and that is important when a friend is going through something as tough and emotional as this. The points expressed are helpful and informational something everyone could use in their knowledge. These are the solutions for helping a friend survive a divorce...

http://www.divorcerate.org/